INTJ
introverted • intuitive • thinking • judging
the INTJ on tumblr
Anonymous said: So, I'm a twenty-two year old INTJ and I actually have very little experience with other INTJs. Is it odd that I've never really been emotional. I've been seeing a counselor and they've told me it's a problem that I don't describe how I'm feeling. I've told him before it's normal for me, that I feel I just... don't comprehend it. Is this normal for other INTJs?

Yes. It definitely is normal. I’ve answered many questions about feelings here. The fact that INTJs are not really able to “get” certain emotions sometimes is one of the reasons why we often have such a hard time in playing the dating-game.

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: How are INTJ "intimate" kinda. I just came to think of that the other day when me and some friends were going bathing. I never get naked in front of strangers in changing rooms and such. Not in front of my friends either.

Hm. I’ve never really thought about this to be honest but I think that every INTJ does agree with what you’re saying. I think that this can be compared to the general INTJ behavior of not enjoying touches that much. I talked about this here. As soon as we’re out of our comfort zone we tend to back away and look for places to hide as fast as possible.

I’ve found a forum discussion concerning INTJs + intimacy. Find it here.

If someone else wants to add something to this / knows more about this issue – feel free to comment!

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: I am regularly told that I project confidence and can be intimidating to others. I'm always bewildered to hear this. Although I am keenly aware of my competence (or incompetence, if the case may be), emotionally, I am very sensitive. As a kid, I cried very easily. I had to learn how to hide it in order to function - but, on the inside, I'm still supremely vulnerable.

Thank you for sharing this story with the INTJ community!

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: How can an intj boy flirt?

Take a look at my FAQ – “How can I (INTJ) approach a girl / guy I like?”.

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: Is it really too much to ask an INTJ to be more emotionally open and do things like actually tell me how they (gasp) FEEL sometimes? Like, my relationship with an INTJ is centered around a lot of humor and deep intellectual conversations and it's great, but it's never about "us". I have no idea what he thinks of the relationship, or me as a partner, and I can't tell if he's as invested or takes it as seriously as I do because he never talks about things like that. Should I ask him to?

If you want to know about how he feels you should probably ask him, yes. INTJs usually don’t talk about feelings very often. This is because they have introverted feeling as their third function. It’s not like we don’t have any feelings at all but we hide them and don’t open up that easily.

I think that with an INTJ in a relationship it’s always worth a try to ask directly. In many cases the INTJ doesn’t even realize that the other person wants to talk about feelings / want to hear about his/her feelings. So asking him sounds like a plan to me.

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: Do other INTJs talk to themselves? I'm constantly muttering to myself, and sometimes have an actual conversation with myself. No rush to answer this!

I don’t know. If I’m talking to myself, I usually don’t do this by talking out loud. Those conversations are mostly taking place in my head. It’s often about imagining certain situations and my reactions and the reactions of others and things like this.

So… since I don’t have any further knowledge about this, I’ll pass this question to my followers: Has anyone of you had experiences with talking to yourselves? Leave a comment!

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: As an INTP female I am great at analyzing romantic situations and being able to tell people whatever is going on in their various relationships. However I cannot look at my own and do the same. Everyone tells me that this INTJ guy is flirting with me, hard, however I don't see it. What are signs I could look for if you know any?

Take a look at my FAQ. There’s a question on how to tell if an INTJ likes you. You can also check out this post of sandshrewandrew. This is a pretty honest, accurate and slightly amusing explanation on how to tell if an INTJ likes you.

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: I'm dating an infp. She puts our relationship before anything else in her life which I am not used to. Is this typical of non-INTJs?

I wouldn’t say that this is typical for every non-INTJ but I know as a matter of fact that INFPs definitely think that way. A very close friend of mine is an INFP and I’ve noticed a similar behavior. I think that this is caused by the strong development of their introverted feeling which is their first function. If you have any questions to ask about INFPs you might wanna go to my friends blog – infp-feelings – which is a partner blog of mine.

Yours,

Sandra

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Anonymous said: What happens to INTJs when their dreams are crushed?

I have to admit that I don’t really know. I think that I personally would think about why this happened and I’d probably look for a new dream to follow…

Any inputs from some of you guys out there? What do you think happens when your dreams are crushed? Has it happened before? Any experiences?

Yours,

Sandra

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